Today I was having a discussion with my sister whether marriage is a necessary part of life or not. As for me, I intend to spend my life unmarried. It’s true that marriage brings someone into your life---someone you can share your closest secrets with. Someone when with whom you will never feel lonely. Someone to share your feelings of joy and happiness.
But I feel its marriage has its side effects which for certain individuals can far outweigh its benefits. First marriage is an obligation made for life. Recently rising number of divorces might suggest that you can step out these obligations whenever you feel like, but let’s take the thing in its true spirit. I for one am extremely paranoiac about commitments. Maybe because in the past I have made some and have failed to keep it leading to quite bad experiences. I feel only a person living in the present can make a promise for life. I am not one of them.
Secondly marriage is a burden. You may love the person you marry but you have no choice over the child that will follow. What sort of character it will grow into nobody can tell but you have to take the responsibility. Though working partners are the norm of the day the male is still looked upon to take the earning responsibility of the house. Now while all alone I can throw my job if my boss or colleagues piss me off and look for another one. But that I cannot do once in wedlock as “I have a family to look after.”
Thirdly I never want to stop being a child. After all my readings and vast second hand experiences it is my conclusion that the careless gaiety of a child is too precious to be squandered for the glittering “maturity” of a man. Call it the peter pan complex but I love being I 20 year old kid. I believe a matured child is the perfection of the human race. Love and Marriage come along and ruin it all.
The fourth reason is derived from personal experience. My father was and is a voracious reader (though he keeps telling me I am much more). In our house we have around 10000 books all personally bought and collected by him. It’s his habit to note down his name and the date of possession on each copy. What’s interesting is that all those before his marriage are worn down by repeated use. Those after have their pages hardly turned over. I have often seen him pick up a book with great interest and then put it down to attend to some problem of the house. I don’t want the same to happen to me. I feel most of our lifetime is consumed in solving problems whose architects are we ourselves. After marriage one must either give up hope of higher dreams or be contended to live a terrible life in which he neither gets his dreams nor marital happiness. What is such a life good for?
I don’t know. Maybe there is more to marriage than a cynical and bitter person like me could understand. After all as John Nash said,
“I've made the most important discovery of my life. It's only in the mysterious equation of love that any logical reasons can be found.”
May be I am yet to find it. May be I am too strong or too mad to be swayed by my emotions. May be all are not strong enough to live their life themselves and need a companion to relive their burden.
I am and I work alone.
But I feel its marriage has its side effects which for certain individuals can far outweigh its benefits. First marriage is an obligation made for life. Recently rising number of divorces might suggest that you can step out these obligations whenever you feel like, but let’s take the thing in its true spirit. I for one am extremely paranoiac about commitments. Maybe because in the past I have made some and have failed to keep it leading to quite bad experiences. I feel only a person living in the present can make a promise for life. I am not one of them.
Secondly marriage is a burden. You may love the person you marry but you have no choice over the child that will follow. What sort of character it will grow into nobody can tell but you have to take the responsibility. Though working partners are the norm of the day the male is still looked upon to take the earning responsibility of the house. Now while all alone I can throw my job if my boss or colleagues piss me off and look for another one. But that I cannot do once in wedlock as “I have a family to look after.”
Thirdly I never want to stop being a child. After all my readings and vast second hand experiences it is my conclusion that the careless gaiety of a child is too precious to be squandered for the glittering “maturity” of a man. Call it the peter pan complex but I love being I 20 year old kid. I believe a matured child is the perfection of the human race. Love and Marriage come along and ruin it all.
The fourth reason is derived from personal experience. My father was and is a voracious reader (though he keeps telling me I am much more). In our house we have around 10000 books all personally bought and collected by him. It’s his habit to note down his name and the date of possession on each copy. What’s interesting is that all those before his marriage are worn down by repeated use. Those after have their pages hardly turned over. I have often seen him pick up a book with great interest and then put it down to attend to some problem of the house. I don’t want the same to happen to me. I feel most of our lifetime is consumed in solving problems whose architects are we ourselves. After marriage one must either give up hope of higher dreams or be contended to live a terrible life in which he neither gets his dreams nor marital happiness. What is such a life good for?
I don’t know. Maybe there is more to marriage than a cynical and bitter person like me could understand. After all as John Nash said,
“I've made the most important discovery of my life. It's only in the mysterious equation of love that any logical reasons can be found.”
May be I am yet to find it. May be I am too strong or too mad to be swayed by my emotions. May be all are not strong enough to live their life themselves and need a companion to relive their burden.
I am and I work alone.
No comments:
Post a Comment