Beauty and Cynicism

I just read a beautiful blog entry…a poem describing the beauties that lay hidden in the day to day chores that are taken for granted….it made me wish had I such a vision to see them…but then a darker thought overcame. Sometimes I do have such visions… I stare at the trees swaying to the rhythm of wanton winds…I gaze upwards into the stars, trying to find patterns. Speaking of stars what fascinates me most is that when looking at them we are looking at the past, maybe none of them exist…who knows? I love watching toddlers playing joy fully…and THEN…

I begin thinking how this happiness is but a tempting crust to a bitter apple…how the smiles guise the malice…such thoughts come and spoil all the atmosphere…I feel enlightened at such moments thinking how I cant be duped, then I feel miserable on not ever being able to enjoy a moment of joy….

“Where ignorance is bliss,

'Tis folly to be wise”

Flashbacks

Now I am at the door steps of a new chapter of my life---one that waits like a gaping chasm into which all have to inevitably step into. With a job waiting for me to join, now is a good time for some flashbacks.

Let the camera roll over to ’93. A class 3 boy is watching his seniors playing with Bunsen burners with multi-colored flames and sounds coming out…cool…he knows then & there I had to be a chemist. He looks up what chemistry is….finds out a chemist is a person who sales medicines. Nah!! He is going to be a real scientist with access to all chemicals in the world…

Then comes ’97. With General Science divided into physics, chemistry & biology he falls into a dilemma what to choose…he happens to like them all. At the same time he chances upon literature & loves that too…what to do. And then the answer dawns upon him. Its simplicity itself….he will do it all….ALL

He makes a plan of his life…he loves physics & English. OK.” Make an invisibility suit & a time machine and I will surely get the Nobel for physics”, he thinks. Then he plans out how to alter DNA by physio-chemical means and thus get the Nobel for both Chemistry & Medicine. By then he would have studied about 5 or 6 foreign languages and their literature...he would write an epic on “King Arthur & The Knights Of The Round Table”….it has not been attempted before. The Nobel for literature will be his. By all this he would have amassed a fortune and had already reached the pinnacle in most fields…so he would start up a corporation where he would apply his own business methods and yes he would get the Nobel for economics….then an old man at the fag end of a dazzling career he would donate all his wealth to do his share in removing poverty, would set up various institutes for recognizing excellence and would manage the Nobel for Peace for his death……Yeah that would be a life to live for.

A lot of water has flown over under the bridge since then….like mud turning to rock the boyish ambitions full of innocent insolence became drier with the passing years….eroded by the vagaries of the narrow world the…flown hither & thither by capricious desires the pompous boulder finally finds its place ….a speck of sand in the vast desert of humanity…….