WTF is wrong with me??

Just very very amused at my once a year posts...hehe

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I chuckle to myself whilst typing away. Writing something after 13 months...as I read over the older posts it does not feel that old though. But I was determined to take up writing again. Basically because after a long time I have some time to myself. Secondly to use this heading. I wanted to write a review of the movie...then realized I can pun on it. For I can say the person writing now is not the same old one...he's a new avatar.

I have an abnormally high learning curve and adaptation rate. Combine this with the blood sucking IT industry and you get something like me.

Among my new traits I have developed a slight tinge of managerial impatience, an inner devils advocate and lots of dry satirical humor.

Coming to the movie...I will review it tomorrow. For today was an exceptionally bland day..and I need to hit the bed soon.

13th September

I just read that 13th September, my Birthday, is also "Programmers Day". How happy my inner geek was..felt  like some sort of destiny being fulfilled. Every fellow has got a thorn up in the brain...if he has a brain. Mine was if i am in  right place? Not anything special or unique..just the plain old question that how do I know if I ain't wasting my time loitering around clubs I ain't got the passes for. 

I dont give 2 cents to destiny and crap but hope such a thing was there. And if the 13th September isnt a coinincidence its a sign that I walked into the right alley. I really need some...i dont know wat I need but I am fed up with the crap life of mine. Am tired...I need some sleep...my mind is going numb...I cant make out things that took me a second...I need to sleeep...just sleep...and hope things take care of themselves...

Hawks

Last Sunday I was sitting alone on the terrace. Suddenly my eyes chanced upon something that brought back...or rather took me back 10 years. Hawks. Now at school i was probably the most ellonesome boy in the class. and what i did for a pasttime. I watched hawks. From the tall 4-storyed building roof i looked at the hawks flying at my height..below me. maybe because of my short height I had a fascnation with birds. there was something majestic about the way they swooped down and with surgical precision gracefully lifted the tiffins from the hands of the hapless children. I had been a victim 2 times..once one of them tore my fingers with its iron talons. I devoted 2 years of my school tiffin life to looking at them. In the end I could truly feel like I knew them. I knew when one would attack, I could recognise their calls. And more importantly they let me watch them from quite near distances. Strangely it gave a satisfaction of sorts when the birds did not fly away when I went near them.

Then after school I got no scope for this strange pastime....gradually i forgot all about my adopted community. Now again when I saw that bird flying high above me I thought how easily I could forget what i put so much time into...

Mowing the lawn

Now a word about the title...i dont have a lawn..i dont have a mower..i am not selling stuff. Then why the fancy title?
Just for the heck of it and coz it describes my actions now. This is a post after a span of 5 months. Every day of these months have had something new in store for me. Really I dont know how much I have changed from the person that left Rourkela. But i have and how....this will become clear after i have mowed the lawn.....:)

[:)].....[:(]......[:o].....[:D].....[:)]..............

Today calls for some thoughts. Just as the numbers on the dial of some fancy watches glow up in the dark....likewise memories splattered across the canvas of the past sometimes glow up at times...and everything freezes and one is left stranded in the islands of time. Tonight is my last at NIT Rourkela...some friends have already left...some are leaving. Sadness & nostalgia fills up the air...I'm normally not very demonstrative of my feelings...unable to cope with them I shrink away & lock up myself in my self...and brood in the solitude of my room. Typing on my computer I remember the very first time I was exposed to computers in this place & knew nothing about it save the tiny "e" icon on the desktop as that was all I had used till then(in the cybercafes).

NIT taught me life...it put me up against & together with the best of minds...people who taunted you because they cared too much about you....people who could drown you with their "natural" sugary friendship just because they would back stab you a few moments later. It loosened me up...at the same time making me cautious. Looking back the 4 years look fuzzy & foggy because the its all too recent & too intense. Maybe sometime later I will look back with different eyes & see different things. But now all I can see is the smooth carefree past gliding away & all my anger melts away & I just wish like Dr.Faustus that this night may go on & on and may never end....

The Eternal Con Artist

Let me explain. I am referring to a kind of escaping…running away from company…running away from being close to people. Last day it was the farewell party…I realized that my batch mates did not know the person who I was…I wonder why I enjoy so much being an “Enigma” …a hermit crab closed in itself…even right now words aren’t coming smoothly to my mind…I have never before opened up. A really strange thing is in a company who have known you superficially (due to your own faults) …when you try to act to act sincerely they take it as some “act” or worse a temporary joke…and after some time you fall back to being a con artist…